The Painless Natural Homebirth of BabyE

It seems that most of the time moms-to-be are told only horror stories about labor and birth.  It fills them with fear and dread of pain.  I've even heard women say they wish they could keep their babes inside forever just to avoid having to go through labor.  Instead shouldn't we share positive birth stories to empower our sisters? I read many many birth stories in preparation for my labor and birth. I believe there is tremendous power in a positive natural birth story. Dear precious pregnant Mama, may I share my birth story with you?  Please accept my humble contribution to to that beautiful genre.

Early labor and still smiling. See not too scary, eh?

Early Labor

On Monday at about 4:30am I awoke with light contractions, the same kind I’d been having the last couple of weeks. For some reason I decided to time them and found that they were consistently ten minutes apart. When DH’s alarm went off at 6:30am I told him maybe he should stay home from work that day. It was easy to convince him as we were now fifteen days past our due date, and he wouldn’t have been able to focus on work wondering whether today was the day we would have a baby. We got up, had some breakfast, and then did a three mile walk to try to keep the contractions going. 

I was in early labor strictly speaking, but it didn't look anything like "labor" as presented on TV or in movies.  We were just going about our day.  The contractions were extremely light so that I had to stop what I was doing to even feel them enough to time them.  I did not have any discomfort what so ever. While watching a movie that afternoon, the contractions got as close as seven minutes apart, but by that evening, they were starting to space out and get more sporadic. We decided to keep our acupuncture appointment for 6:30pm. I had two other acupuncture sessions over the past two weeks with no effect. This time though, I had about four strong contractions while I was on the table, nothing like the easy ones I’d had before. I used the bathroom on my way out, and there was some bloody show. Still, I didn’t let myself get too excited after waiting for so long. I was enjoying my extended pregnancy and wasn't too uncomfortable. I knew that both Baby and I were healthy and well.  My only fear was that I would go too far beyond my estimated due date and have to be referred to an OB and a hospital. 

Serious Labor

By the time we made it to the car I was having more strong contractions. DH timed them as we drove to the grocery store, and I was surprised when he told me they were three minutes apart. They continued through the store and on the way home. Being stuck in the car unable to move was the most uncomfortable part of the whole labor. 

I'll pause here to describe what "strong contractions" felt like to me.  It seems more appropriate to adopt the term rushes than to call what I was experiencing contractions.  Technically muscles were contracting, but that term has such fear and negativity surrounding it.  To me it was the rush of power through my body.  I did not feel them as pain or cramps.  The thing I can most liken it to is lifting very heavy weights. Like a good workout, it was hard work, but it was good and healthy. My body was working hard, it knew exactly what it needed to do. I could not do anything to either resist the power or to help it along. All I could do, all I needed to do, was let my wise body to its work. 

Eyes wide open. Hi Mom & Dad!

When we arrived home about 8:00pm, I was so happy to be out of the car! The contractions quickly had me doubled over the counter to cope. Soon after our midwife just happened to call to check on us and to schedule the next biophysical profile and discuss options for my care. I was so happy and relieved to be able to tell her we might finally be in labor. She said the contractions might just be due to the acupuncture and could fizzle out, but to call her back in a couple hours if they continued. When I told her there was bloody show though, she had us go ahead and have the labor tub delivered. We were finally going to have this baby! 

Only an hour later DH decided to call the midwife back to report contractions were two minutes apart. By that time I was totally in the zone, and didn’t have much awareness of what anyone else around me was doing. Luckily I didn’t have to because DH was taking such good care of everything. My midwife listened to me through a couple of contractions over the phone, and she informed me they had already increased to only 90 seconds apart. She said she’d be over within the hour. I continued to labor until about 1:00am, switching between the toilet and the labor tub, all the time making loud “O” sounds trying to keep everything open and relaxed. I'm a pretty reserved person, so I never imagined I’d be such a vocal laborer. 

Transition

There was never a time during first stage where I felt like I was in pain or wished I could have an epidural. I never really felt like I couldn’t go on anymore, but there were three contractions that were right on top of each other when I told DH I needed a break. I think that must have been transition, because soon the contractions started to space out again and my midwife asked if I wanted her to check me to see if I was ready to push. 

Ready to Push

I couldn’t believe it all happened so fast. The first time she checked me there was just a little cervix left, the second time she checked I was ready to push. These were the only two times she did a vaginal check in my whole prenatal care and labor and even then it was completely up to me.  Since I knew dilation isn't a linear process, I didn't want to get discouraged by not seeing enough progress during the end of my pregnancy and labor.  I knew how important it was to stay relaxed and positive.

Because everyone always says pushing is their favorite part of labor, I thought I was home free, but the hardest part was really ahead of me. I pushed and pushed, but I was afraid I wasn’t doing it right and couldn’t tell at all if I was making progress. During a couple of contractions my midwife used her hand to show me where to push and assured me that I was doing just fine. She repeatedly told me I was laboring beautifully and she prayed over me that I would have the strength to continue. How encouraging and meaningful her words were to me! 

As time went on I started to get tired and discouraged. I just remember telling everyone I was so tired over and over again. Luckily my midwife suggested DH give me some Goo which we just happened to have, and she helped me find some effective positions to help get the baby’s head under my pelvic bone. I could finally reach down and feel the smooth round bulge of the baby’s head. 

When my midwife, her assistant, and her student all started to sit up around the labor tub with smiles on their faces, I knew we were getting close. My midwife helped me grunt through a couple of contractions instead of push to minimize tearing. A few more pushes and Baby's head was born. It was the most amazing and powerful feeling to push him out. 

Newborn exam on our bed.

A Big Blessing

Then I asked, rather incoherently I think, whether the bag of waters had ever broken, as I had never felt it. It turns out it was still intact, so they broke the bag, un-looped the cord from Baby's neck, and then I pushed him out. The cord being looped around was a total non-emergency, and I didn't even know it was until later. Before I knew it, I was holding my baby, and he was announcing his arrival loudly to the whole neighborhood. Our little boy was born 16 days after his due date at 3:23am after just 8 short hours of active labor.  

The real shock came when they put him in the scale sling.  It took quite a lot of effort to lift him up off the bed.  He weighed 10 pounds 11 ounces !  (That's 4.85 kg to the rest of the world.)  I don’t think I would have been so impatient with pushing if I had no known how big he was! We praise God for blessing us with our wonderful birth experience and our healthy little boy!

Big strong BabyE. Check out my muscles!

I realize that not everyone will have the same quick and painless version of birth. I just need you to know, dear Mama-to-be, that hours and hours of extreme pain in childbirth are not a foregone conclusion.  There is nothing special about me that makes me good at birthing. The very concept that I had any control over labor process is laughable. All I could do was prepare mentally and physically. Beyond that I could only put my faith in the fact that God had created women to safely and successfully birth their babies naturally almost all of the time. I have every confidence that you can have a positive natural birth experience, Mama, if that's what you desire. While the world is yelling about miserable pain and the inadequacy of your body, hear me gently whispering, You can do it!  

What is one positive memory (or hope for the future) that you have from your birth experience?  

Love reading natural birth stories? Sign up to stay updated about the upcoming launch of my Positive Natural Birth Stories book. 

Do you have a positive natural birth story to share? Submit it here. 

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Welcome to the June 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Embracing Your Birth Experience

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have written about at least one part of their birth experience that they can hold up and cherish.

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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon June 12 with all the carnival links.)

• I Had A C-Section. So What! — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama rewrites her birth story now that she has worked through the feelings of inadequacy and disappointment of not having the “perfect” birth.
• The Perfect Birth — Kellie at Our Mindful Life reflects on how a birth can be far from what we imagined, but still perfect.
• Own Your Birth: My Hope For All Expectant Moms — Andrea at Tales of Goodness shares how she owned her birth spiritually (while navigating it physically) in order to have a joyous experience.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting: My Birth Experience — It wasn't what Lily at Witch Mom wanted, but it was everything she needed.
• The Painless Natural Homebirth of BabyE — Shannon at GrowingSlower wants women considering natural birth to know painless births are possible.
• Reflections on Jemma's Birth ... 20 Months Later — It took a second pregnancy for That Mama Gretchen to fully embrace her first birth experience.
• Loving My Unnatural Birth Experience — Erika at Cinco de Mommy cherishes her very first birth experience, in all its unnatural glory!
• Be Careful What you Wish for in Birth — Amber at Strocel.com had two births, and it was the one that went to plan that she struggled with embracing.
• Redeeming an unexpected hospital transfer — Lauren at Hobo Mama looks back at her first, interrupted home-turned-hospital birth, and finds the beauty in what happened.
• All of it — Laura from Pug in the Kitchen had to learn to embrace the whole experience of birth even though it meant being naked . . . with an audience.
• Birthing Dreams & Realities — Momma Jorje never had a "dream birth," but she wouldn't change a thing about her births.
• Memories of Birth: Calm Amidst the Storm — While neither of her children's births had been quite what she expected, Cynthia at The Hippie Housewife cherishes one moment in particular from each of her birth experiences.
• Embracing Our Birth Stories — Luschka from Diary of a First Child shares a sensitive post on her recent birth which both did and didn't go 'to plan', and writes about the journey of coming to terms with the good and the bad.
• Two Beautiful Births — Sheila at A Gift Universe remembers how her mother brought out the beauty in each of her children's births, and tries to do the same with her sons' birth stories.
• Embracing My Supernatural ChildBirth Experiences... — Jenny at I'm a full-time mummy shares her fond memories on both her supernatural childbirth experiences
• Embracing the Hospital Birth Experience — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction believes that sometimes a medicated, induced hospital birth is the right choice for a natural parent.
• Carnival: Embracing Your Birth Experience — Stephanie at The Other Baby Blog embraces the birth experience from a paleobiologist's point of view and takes a look at how humans defy their anatomy.
• Reflections on My First Birth and Preparing for a Second — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares the strength she didn't realize she had until she gave birth to her son.
• becoming a mama - embracing my birth experience — Meegs at A New Day remembers the birth of her daughter Gwenivere, and the empowered feeling it left her with.
• What About Us? A Poem About Birth — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares a poem she wrote about healing from an unexpected and emotionally painful birth experience.
• Be a Man: One Father's View of Birth — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children shares her husband's advice to other fathers and partners.
• A Birth Monologue — Kat at MomeeeZen shares a monologue she wrote during the process of healing from her birth experiences.
• Forgiveness: My Birth Journey — Leah at The Crunchy Farm Baby discusses what happens when her planned homebirth doesn't end up the way she wanted, and explains her journey of forgiving herself for losing that "perfect" birth.
• Patching together a perfect birth — KrissyFair at Think Mama, Think learned that sometimes a perfect birth happens in pieces.
• Celebrating and Sharing the Possibilities of Perfect Birth — Terri from Child of the Nature Isle joyfully shares details of her perfect births and wishes to inspire a more positive cultural expectation about birth.
• Instinct - Embracing Your Birth Experience — Laura at Laura's Blog reflects on instinctual moments during and after the births of her two daughters.
• I was Foolish Then — ANonyMous at Radical Ramblings describes how foolish lack of preparation for childbirth led to a feeling of powerlessness and fear, but that in the end she had her baby in her arms, and that's one thing she can celebrate.
• Sometimes no plan is the best plan — Tat at Mum in search contemplates that maybe she doesn't need a birth plan for her upcoming birth.
• Disturbing the peace — Kenna at Million Tiny Things thought she would be a calm, quiet baby-haver. Ha!
• Accepting the Unexpected During Birth — Emily at S.A.H.M i AM imagined herself laboring on a birthing ball but she never imagined where she'd really be most comfortable when the time came...
• Sacred This Time, Too — Kimber at The Single Crunch learned enough to know that the way she birthed wasn't they way she wanted to; but she also knew to enjoy it for what it was.
• The Birth Partner: A Great Natural Labor Companion — Justine at The Lone Home Ranger thinks that the secret to her pleasant natural labors was having a great support system.
• the Best Thing About My Labor Experience — Crunchy Con Mommy realizes that amidst all the things that seemed to go wrong with her labor, the love and support of her husband was the one thing she could always count on!
• Your Birth Was My Favorite — Dulce de leche describes some of the highlights from each of her four births and explains why despite the differences, they are all her favorites.
• Birth Story: Part One - Moon on a Stick! — Gentle Mama Moon tells the first part of her birth story to share some of the delight of labouring at home.
• Embracing My Birth Experience by Sharing My Birth Story — Dionna at Code Name: Mama made peace with her first birth by sharing the story with her son.
• Focusing on the Beauty of Birth — Julia at A Little Bit of All of It shares the beautiful aspects of her birth center water birth.
• A Joyful Induced Delivery — Amy Willa: Me, Mothering, and Making it All Work notes the meditations and perspective that helped her achieve an unmedicated birth despite being induced for medical reasons.
• Finding Joy in an Imperfect Childbirth Experience — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells what she learned from her two very different childbirth experiences.
• What's to like about a c-section? — Jessica at Crunchy-Chewy Mama is glad she her second child at home, but she also cherishes much about the c-section she had four years earlier.
• What Story Will I Tell? — Rachael at The Variegated Life realizes that the way she tells the story of her second child's birth matters — and could be exhilarating.
• I Quietly Put My Hopes to Rest E — Erica at ChildOrganics shares her emotional ups and downs with the highly intervened birth of her special needs daughter, Bella.
• Tale of Six Births — Jessica at Instead of Institutions appreciates that unique challenges and joys of each of her births.
• Labouring naturally: nature’s gift — Caroline at stoneageparent describes the most beautiful, spiritual aspect of the labour of her son, the first stages along a bumpy road to giving birth.
• All The Woman I Am. — Lindsay at This Woman's Work shares a poem about letting go and surrendering during the thralls of labor.
• A twin birth story: embracing the unexpected — Megan at The Boho Mama shares her twin birth experience and how she found the silver lining when faced with preterm labor, premature birth, and a two-week NICU stay.
• Giving Birth With Eminem — Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares how fiery rap music contributed to an empowered homebirth with her third baby.
• Two Different Births — Cassie at There's a Pickle in My Life shares how she learned from her first birth experience and how to trust yourself and your body.
• Embracing Our Potential: Birth as a Metaphor — Sheila from A Living Family guest posts at Natural Parents Network and expresses how birth has served as a metaphor to help her through other experiences in life.
• Little Sister's Birth Story: Our VBAC Adventure — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama describes the recent birth story of her baby girl, her pride in an epidural-free VBAC, and how her story isn't exactly the birth experience she had planned for.
• A Journey in Birth Confidence — Shannon at The Artful Mama shares her experiences with labor during both of her sons' births.

This post is linked up with Frugally Sustainable, Simple Lives Thursday, and The EO.