It breaks my heart when I hear moms longing to be at home with their children but have to send them off to daycare everyday. It's the worst when after a too-short maternity leave a mom returns back to work daily in tears missing her baby.
For many women, working full time is simply not a choice. Perhaps she is a single mom or the family budget is truly just too tight. For many of us though, we believe that being a stay at home mom isn't financially possible at first glance. However, if you've been longing to be a stay at home mom, a closer look at your budget may show it's more financially possible than you think.
It turns out working moms spend quite a bit of money just for the privilege of going to work. Once you take yourself out of the work force, you can save a surprising amount out of your budget.
For many women, working full time is simply not a choice. Perhaps she is a single mom or the family budget is truly just too tight. For many of us though, we believe that being a stay at home mom isn't financially possible at first glance. However, if you've been longing to be a stay at home mom, a closer look at your budget may show it's more financially possible than you think.
It turns out working moms spend quite a bit of money just for the privilege of going to work. Once you take yourself out of the work force, you can save a surprising amount out of your budget.
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Money saved by Not going to work:
Taxes
When you're working, a big portion of your income goes to paying taxes. This will obviously vary depending on your household income, but it could be anywhere from 15-40% for federal taxes alone. State taxes vary up to 11% of your income. There's nothing like paying the government to go to work everyday.
Daycare
Daycare is a huge expense for working moms. The average cost of daycare for one infant in the US is $1000 per month. Having additional children in daycare adds on even more. (Daycare)
Diapers & Formula
Many daycares do not allow the use of cloth diapers. If you're staying home, you can of course use cloth diapers instead of disposables and save $50-100 per month. It may also be more convenient for stay at home moms to exclusively breastfeed. (There are certainly many exceptions to this rule. One amazing mama from my La Leche League group just completed a full year of pumping at work!) If you do avoid buying formula you can save $150 per month.Eating out
It is no doubt exhausting to be a mom who works full time outside the house. It would be very tough to come home every night day in and day out and make dinner and pack a lunch for the next day. When you wake up exhausted in the morning, it would be really hard to drag yourself past Starbucks. If you had just one coffee, one lunch out, and one dinner per week, that could quickly add up to over $200 per month.
Clothes
When you don't have to keep up appearances at work everyday, you can spend less on clothes. You certainly don't have to look like a scrub just because you've become a stay at home mom, but you can set the standard and decide whether spending a lot of money on clothing is a priority for you. You can probably dress a little more casually and at least avoid dry cleaning expenses.
Transportation
If you're careful, your transportation expenses could go down when you are no longer commuting daily to work. The average worker spends somewhere around $400 a month commuting. (Commute) If you pay for parking now, that will be another cost savings.
Money Saved by Being a Stay at Home Mom
Allow me to make some hypothetical assumptions about the average working mom and how much she could save by not going to work. The thing I'm obviously leaving out is health and retirement benefits. This can vary greatly depending on whether your spouse has a health plan you can join. If you have savings you may opt for an health insurance plan with a high deductible to keep premiums more affordable. As for retirement, it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make as I know I won't be at home forever and hopefully I'll be able to make up for it later in my career. Those two issues aside, you can see that there is a ridiculous amount of work related expense gobbles up most of a working mom's pay check.
$3000 monthly median income for women in the US
-$600 in taxes
-$1000 in daycare expenses
-$250 by cloth diapering and breastfeeding
-$200 by eating at home
-$50 on clothing and drycleaning
-$200 on transportation
______________________________________
$700 income
Make Up the Difference with Budget Reductions
As you can see there is a fairly small difference in income once you look at how much is saved by not going to work. You might be able to reduce other expenses through different lifestyle decisions to help make up the difference. Could you cancel cable or shop around for a better insurance rate? Maybe you could choose to move to a more affordable home.
Then there is all of the indirect savings you could achieve by being a stay at home mom. Your kids won't be picking up every little illness going around when they're in daycare, and you won't be taking time off to take care of them or taking them to the doctor. If you're able to cook healthier meals at home instead of going out, that will also help get your entire family healthier and reduce medical expenses.
Then there is all of the indirect savings you could achieve by being a stay at home mom. Your kids won't be picking up every little illness going around when they're in daycare, and you won't be taking time off to take care of them or taking them to the doctor. If you're able to cook healthier meals at home instead of going out, that will also help get your entire family healthier and reduce medical expenses.
Make Up the Difference with Work at Home Income
Many stay at home moms supplement their income by working at home. The good news is you won't have to make up 100 percent of your former income by working at home. As shown above, you are actually savings quite a bit of money by being a stay at home mom. There is relatively little left over that you would need to earn to make up the difference. You may be able to get contract work within your industry, or you may choose to try something completely new. When deciding your contract rate, be sure to account for paying your own taxes, insurance, and retirement. Also, factor in for paid time off that you would usually get with full time employment.
Everyone's individual financial situation is different, but I hope these tips have given you a new perspective on how you might be able to afford to be a stay at home mom. If you deeply desire to be at home with your kids, I believe you can make it work with a bit of determination!
Everyone's individual financial situation is different, but I hope these tips have given you a new perspective on how you might be able to afford to be a stay at home mom. If you deeply desire to be at home with your kids, I believe you can make it work with a bit of determination!
Please share your tips for how you afford to be a stay at home mom in the comments.
Image Credit. This post is linked up with Your Green Resource, Frugally Sustainable.
Awesome post, Shannon! I am so glad that circumstances led me to become a stay at home mom, and I've found that all of what you've said here is right on.
ReplyDeleteI love you dearly, but someone needs to call that model in the photo and inform her that the way she's wearing her Moby wrap is grossly incorrect and DEADLY.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment! If you love me so, I dearly wish you would sign in and let me know who you are. I do appreciate your intention for helping us see that this is an unsafe babywearing position, as so many have pointed out. I hope you'll check out full response in the update above.
DeleteSadly none of this applies to me :( I'd love to leave my job. We already CD and use expressed breastmilk while I'm at work. I work opposite shifts as DH so we avoid daycare costs, I live 2 miles from my job so gas is a non issue, my scrubs are provided by my employer. Almost every cent is profit for me. I'd love to hear some ideas for becoming a WAHM!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you're in the health care field? Maybe you could get training in transcription or billing and use your industry contacts to find contract work to do from home?
DeleteThat's awesome that you and your husband work together. There's nothing wrong with baby spending time with Daddy. Maybe you can economize some other way and work fewer hours so you have some family and couple time?
DeleteWe do this as well. I am currently enrolled in college working for my degree that hopefully I'll be able to be a WAHM with it but currently I take night classes, work at night, my significant other works days so we avoid day care, I pump at work and we cloth diaper. We're already cutting our phone line and switching our internet company. My work is 10 minutes away, as is his and we have a standard transmission car so gas is also a non issue. The sad truth is is that it just doesn't cut it. We need my paycheck. At least I get to stay home during the day with my son and he gets to spend a lot of time with his daddy but we really lack family time because of it. I couldn't tell you the last time I sat down to dinner with my significant other.
DeleteGreat tips and so true that it can all work out with some tweaks and flexibility.
ReplyDeleteI am blessed to be able to stay home with my kids. Today is the perfect example of why - as I have 3 kids home from school and don't have to worry about childcare etc. But I know that I am LUCKY to have a husband who is supportive of this decision (even though we can't afford a lot of fun stuff...) and that we make enough to get by on a single income. I guess I'm just recognizing that I think it's a privilege. and I'm grateful for that privilege.
ReplyDeleteThis offers some great tips! I lost my job shortly after my husband and I got married a few years ago. I wasn't able to find a job, and realized I'd rather focus on my home instead. We don't have children yet, but I am so thankful that my husband and I have already figured out how to live on one income. I am so thankful that when I have children, unless circumstances change, I'll be able to be a stay at home mom. Great tips, and thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteMy Children are 22 and 24 now. However, I was a stay at home for all of their lives. It is a choice if you are a 2 parent family for one of you to stay home. If you know you want children "someday" start saving one income as soon as you are married. If you need money for fertility treatments or adoption costs you will be so much closer. And not spending the second income will allow you to make the transition to being a family with a stay at home parent.
ReplyDeleteIn addition to the finances, being a parent at home with your children will be the best investment you can make in your children's future. Anything "taught" at day care and preschool can be taught by you, at sunday school, library time etc. Don't be pressured into the "preschool" is the best education. My son studied at Oxford University and is applying to doctorate programs now and my daughter is studying to be a vet. EVERYONE understimates how much it COSTS to go to work. Listen to this lady. She is SO right!!!! Good luck to all of you !
Start saving to be a stay at home mom as soon as you get married. That is wonderful advice! Even though I always knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom when I had kids, for some reason we didn't think to prepare and plan ahead as much as we could have. Luckily we did put away quite a bit of savings, but I know we could have done better and paid off more of our student loans.
ReplyDeleteA lot of people wonder how I afford to stay home with my kids. Luckily, we have a low mortgage payment for starters. But we also don't eat out, don't go out for coffee every morning, don't smoke, and have one cell phone with a $20/month plan. I hear people moan about having to go back to work after 1 year off, but they have a $600 stroller, Lulu lemon head to toe, the newest iphone..maybe if you weren't such a consumerist you could afford to stay home!
ReplyDeleteI'm a stay at home mom, with careful planning and such we have been fortunate to indulge in "consumerist" ways. Deprivation is never the way, but buying smart is. Craigslist and ebay has enabled us to have high name brands like the orbit stroller for a tiny fraction of the cost. It has also enabled me to to compare apples to apples so we are able to have luxurious without breaking the bank.
DeleteI certainly agree with the lady that staying with your kids as long as you can could be the best decision you will make. If we stop looking at material things that the society is offering we could afford to stay at home and rear up our children to the values that we treasure, I myself don't want stranger rearing up my child. If we just live modesty and plan we could step aside from our career for a few years. We can only have them for few years in a blink of an eye they'll be all grown up and starting their own lives.
ReplyDeleteI don't pay for daycare because my mom watches my daughter for free, and I work at home so I don't pay for transportation, meals, clothes, etc. My heart breaks because I can't stay home with my daughter but my husband barely makes enough to pay our mortgage payment every month. We have our second child due in August and I would love more than anything to stay home. I am pretty budget savvy and have gone over and over our budget, and all I can figure is that we will have to save for at least 4 years before we can afford for me to quit. Moving is not an option either because the housing market is so crappy around here that we would probably lose at least $20,000 on our house, which would defeat the purpose of moving. So I am totally trapped. Depressing, I know.
ReplyDeleteHi Sarah! I'm so sorry you are trapped in this situation for now. I really encourage you to keep saving toward your goal. You just never know when something unexpected might happen to change your circumstances and let you stay home sooner than you think.
Deletethese are so true! i quit my job last year when my baby was born and i'm surprised by how much i don't spend. I'm more careful with my grocery budget and avoid going shopping just for shopping sake. i have more time to plan my grocery trips as well so there's less stop in through the week to pick up a few things and leave with a buggy full. I'm also amazed at how the jeans and tops i've had for years are great to wear daily now that i'm not needing dressier clothes. thanks fo sharing! it's not easy to put the stay at home mom out there sometimes...
ReplyDeleteI dont understand any of the buzzwords you used to describe yourself.website. But your math is right on! Imagine your take home pay once you have more than one child. What is your estimate of the break even point. I guestimate its between the 2nd and 3rd. By three, theres negligible point in distancing yourself from your children to work for no (net) money.
ReplyDeleteThat's a great point! I would guess it is somewhere between 2 and 3 with the biggest factor being the cost of daycare. Most of the other expenses probably stay roughly the same from 1 to 2 to 3.
DeleteIf you're interested in learning more about this site, I encourage you to take a look at the right sidebar for the topics I write about: pregnancy and birth, parenting, do it yourself, being environmentally friendly, and saving money. Each of the four buttons on the side will take you to a list of past posts on that topic. Thanks!
I did this same math when my first daughter was born and it just didn't add up for me to go back to work. The extra stress it was going to cause on my family was another factor. We looked into regulations in our state and when she was about two I started watching three other children in my home along with my daughter. She had instant playmates and we had much needed income. I could deduct a huge amount of the expenses involved with being a daycare so I paid very little in taxes. I think what I ended up with net was about the same as I would have after the extra expenses involved with working. (We would have needed a second car, gas, insurance, etc. as well as all the expenses you listed.) It was insanely tight. We watched every penny. But we made it work.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard when you feel trapped by circumstances. Sometimes you've cut everything you can and there is just no wiggle room to allow you to stay home. I wish everyone who has posted here that is in that situation the best of luck in figuring out the best path forward for their family.
KT
I found that when I was working we spent more money. I would always 'justify' why I needed that new pair of shoes, or whatever. We are just as wealthy or poor as when I was working full time. NO, we don't have the fun things like i-phones, top of the line clothes, and we don't go out lots...but me and my family are so much more happy with me being home. My biggest wish is that ALL moms could stay home. I just don't know how working moms do it...KUDOS to them, cause I struggle with the daily things like homework, and dinner and I'm home most the day :)
ReplyDeleteI was the same way! "We just finished a big project, so I need to go shopping." Why I do not know because I don't even like shopping!! I guess I just felt the need to reward myself.
DeleteOh and I serious do not know how working moms do it. Really they are amazing! Don't forget though that staying home is a full time job too, and it is exhausting chasing after the kids all day! You're doing a great job!
This is great! My oldest was in daycare until she started school. My son was born when she was 6, and one day, when he was 9 months old, I came home and told my husband I quit my job. He about had a heart attack, because we could not pay our bills on one income. The next week, a friend asked me to keep her little girl. Four years later, I still have a daycare at my house. I am home with my babies, and make more money than my husband (thought he hates to admit it!)!
ReplyDeleteAs someone who keeps kids, I get to see what the kids go through. It is hard on them, to the point that they call me "mommy Em". I try my best to explain when they ask why mommy isn't here that they are helping their family, but it is heartbreaking. I could never put my kids back in daycare, even if I had to sell everything I own! My daycare kids are with me literally more waking hours than they are with their parents. 11 hours a day, usually. I feed them two meals a day, sometimes three. One I even bathe each day, because Mama "just runs out of time." I've been told "it is a good thing my kid has you, otherwise she wouldn't know what a mommy is!" I know not all moms are like that, but still, it is hard on the little ones.
This is great! My oldest was in daycare until she started school. My son was born when she was 6, and one day, when he was 9 months old, I came home and told my husband I quit my job. He about had a heart attack, because we could not pay our bills on one income. The next week, a friend asked me to keep her little girl. Four years later, I still have a daycare at my house. I am home with my babies, and make more money than my husband (thought he hates to admit it!)!
ReplyDeleteAs someone who keeps kids, I get to see what the kids go through. It is hard on them, to the point that they call me "mommy Em". I try my best to explain when they ask why mommy isn't here that they are helping their family, but it is heartbreaking. I could never put my kids back in daycare, even if I had to sell everything I own! My daycare kids are with me literally more waking hours than they are with their parents. 11 hours a day, usually. I feed them two meals a day, sometimes three. One I even bathe each day, because Mama "just runs out of time." I've been told "it is a good thing my kid has you, otherwise she wouldn't know what a mommy is!" I know not all moms are like that, but still, it is hard on the little ones.
I worked until my oldest was 6, and it killed me inside. When my youngest was 9 months old, I quit my job. I didn't even tell my husband, and he nearly had a heart attack when he found out! We could not pay the bills on one income! A week later, a friend asked me to keep her little girl while she worked. Three years later, I run a daycare from my home. I make more than my husband, though he hates to admit it!! I pride myself on loving and caring for each child as I do my own.
ReplyDeleteI write this, not only as a mom, but also as someone who babysits. My "kids" are with me more waking hours than their parents...11 hours usually. I feed them 2 meals a day, often three, when moms work late and they eat supper with MY family. I see what the little ones go through. I hate hearing "Why is mommy gone", and "Can you tell my mommy to come home?", because no matter how I explain to a 3 year old that mommy is helping her family, it still hurts them. My "kids" call me "Mama Emmy". I have had moms call me in the middle of the night to ask me what they need to do to comfort their child. I had one mom who had no clue her child was potty trained! Obviously, not all moms are like this, just examples.
After seeing what they go through, I would rather sell everything I own than to EVER go back to work. No matter how wonderful the care provider is, NO ONE is substitute for mommy!
And great blog..Am following now!
ReplyDeleteEven being a work at home mom seems to cost money and unnecessary time. It's a great idea if you have to work and you want to be at home. I do it for that reason. But, thinking about it, if I wasn't working at home, I'd be doing the dishes instead. By doing the dishes, I wouldn't be fed up with the kitchen mess and wouldn't buy a pizza for dinner. $ saved. If I could spend more time with my kids, I wouldn't pay for Netflix to entertain them while I work. $ saved. If I didn't work from home (I am self employed), I wouldn't have to pay self employment taxes. $ saved. If I wasn't trying to meet a deadline, I would have lunch finished before I went to pick up the older kids from school and wouldn't run through McDonald's for my 4 year old on the way. $ saved. If I didn't work from home, I woulnd't NEED the internet and could cancel it. $ saved. If you don't absolutely have to work to make ends meet, I suggest not doing it! Your kids will love you for it! Makes me wonder why I am doing it......
ReplyDeleteAfter I had my second child I wanted to quit but it just didn't seem like the right thing to do (I'm very religious and it seemed like God was saying I still needed to work). My husband lost his job 9 months later so we were very blessed that I did have a job. At that point a friend (who is a stay at home mom) said the best thing to me. She told me it takes a very special person to be able to work full time and have a family full time. It made all the difference in the world to hear that. My husband found a job about a month later but here we are 5 years later and I was just able to quit my job after having baby number 3
ReplyDeleteI am a stay at home mom with one baby and another on the way. It has been very easy for us to stay at home, but we have no debt from student loans, no medical problems, and a very low standard of living. We both watched our parents, from the Material Generation, make lots of money and spend lots of money and be always broke. Now, we have a beatup car that we own, a house that isn't perfect but is well-loved, and always shop around before making any purchase. We have our little expenses to make us happy (my husband is an amateur bodybuilder and needs A LOT of food and I love Starbucks coffee), but we save so much money every paycheck my husband brings in. The hardest thing about being a SAHM is the social stigma, as it seems that now, being a SAHM is somehow a bad thing, anti-feminist, and maybe even for women of low education.
ReplyDeleteI plan on going back to work part-time once my youngest is two years old and then full time once the youngest is five years old, just because I think it would be good for both my resume and the socializing of my children, but I will only do it if it makes financial sense, ie finding the right job to make a profit while still paying for daycare, gas, and food expenses.
I was finally able to come home from my full time job when my youngest child was a year old. As much as I wish I'd have been able to make it work when my older two were babies, I almost feel that they need me at home more now that they're older. I get to be active in volunteering at their schools, and I don't have to fight with a boss to take off work when they're sick, have parent/teacher conferences, class parties, dentist appointments, etc.
ReplyDeleteYoung moms, don't be discouraged if you can't come home just yet. And don't rush back to work as soon as your kids hit full-day school! I'm blessed to be able to "stay at home" (yeah, right...) with three busy kiddos in grade school thru jr. high, and I wouldn't trade these years for anything else.
I wanted to be a stay at home mom for my amazing little girl so, I have a daycare in my house. I get paid to let my daughter play with her friends from 8-5 every weekday. It was a great choice as I don't commute unless I take the girls to the park or zoo. I make all meals at home so the girls can have a yummy yet healthy lunch. And the girls all play well together and have fun.
ReplyDeleteI wish my spouse would read this. He knows how expensive it is for me to work and does not want our children with 'strangers', but when he is frustrated he blames me for 'not wanting' to work. I had a part time job cleaning, 3 day a week 3 hours a day. Which was awesome... BUT...he stayed with our daughter, which would have been ideal if he didn't sit her in front of the TV the whole time and not put her to bed ever, if I ever came home at midnight she would still be awake. We have 3 now and I stay with them, I would have no problem being a daycare, but our house is in need of a severe renovation, no middle-class trendy mom would be caught dead leaving her kids here, I have seen the looks on peoples faces when they come over. Sorry for the vent...it works out because I buy nothing for myself and cut my own hair etc... I dress like a thrift store bag lady and if I was still 20 I 'might' look cool. We have very little for bills and drive only one vehicle. A mom can only 'do it all' if she has support from family or friends, doing it all seems to be for appearances anyways because does anyone really 'want' the extra stress that goes with spreading yourself 'too thin'. I think we end up teaching our kids that 'things' are what is important than just 'being' with them. I resent being made feel like I am lazy because I am unable to do it all.
ReplyDeleteWe've done all this so I can stay home but our biggest change in our finances was when we stopped buying anything commercial in food or other products like cleaning supplies. Just think how much you waste by buying commercial detergents when you can make your own better and cheaper. Pinterest is a great site to teach how to save money by making everything. My grocery bill is the same but with no junk food or packaged anything. We eat better also. Plus we homeschool which eliminates a lot of unnecessary expenses like endless school supply lists and picture taking. Seriously, do we need our kids pictures twice a year and in every activity. If we can do it anyone can. I worked outside the home for many unhappy years because I knew we were getting no where and the stress made us all cranny.
ReplyDeleteI am trying to figure this equation out, myself. I am a lead teacher in an early childhood center, so I have thought about "taking my work home with me" with an in home daycare. My children are 5, 12 and 15. For me the draw-back would be missing athletic activities for my middle child for the next year and a half. With the "baby" going into kindergarten in the fall, I might just opt for part time work during school hours. I did this before she was born and actually took home more money than when I worked full time as I saved on daycare and eating out. My house was also A LOT cleaner! :-)
ReplyDeleteThat is such a good point! It doesn't have to be an all or nothing situation where you either work full time or are a full time stay at home mom. It sounds working part time would give you the best of both worlds.
DeleteI just have one at home during the day. I wish I could find something to earn a little extra $ at home. I was a drafter before I started staying home and there r no position to do from hone in that field here;(
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post! I always hear women say "oh I wish I could stay at home" and I sometimes want to say..well you could if you wanted...granted like you said some women do have to work to financially support or help their family...but others..with a little scarifice would be able to stay home. I am lucky enough to say at home..and I work from home, but if it ever came down to going back to work outside the home, or cutting back wherever possible. I'd do whatever it took to cut back!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post! I always hear women say "oh I wish I could stay at home" and I sometimes want to say..well you could if you wanted...granted like you said some women do have to work to financially support or help their family...but others..with a little scarifice would be able to stay home. I am lucky enough to say at home..and I work from home, but if it ever came down to going back to work outside the home, or cutting back wherever possible. I'd do whatever it took to cut back!
ReplyDeleteWe made a ton of budget cuts when I left my full time job. But I also dove into my Scentsy business more. My average party is $500, so if I have four a month, I'm making at least $600. It helps! If you're interested in working from home, on uour own time as your own boss, visit http:\\hayleebugs.scentsy.us
ReplyDeleteAgree. I couldnt quit my job entirely, but making some changes in our lifestyle, and working part time has really made it easier to spend more time with my little one.
ReplyDeleteWhen we took the plunge into being a one income family, we cut our income just about in half. My husband was not totally committed to this change, but we agreed on a trial run, knowing I might go back to work at least part time if necessary. I had one child at the time and, like so many moms, I hated leaving him in daycare. We moved into a less expensive house, but still have an average cost mortgage payment. Our vehicles are paid off, with no new cars on the horizon. We try to share one car (with the lowest gas milage,) when possible. We look for free or low cost activities/entertainment. We rarely eat out. Date night looks different, but still happens. We plan well in advance for vacations. Disneyland comes only after a few years of in-state camping or visits to family or friends where we can drive and have free lodging. We aren't shabby, but do make the most of what we have - from house wares to clothing - always opting to repair rather than replace if possible. I follow meal plans to avoid unnecessary shopping, use coupons when I can, garden a little, and am gradually learning the art of "do-it-yourself" for many things. In the almost 7 years since I left the work force, we've had another child, and are now home schooling both kids. They are both in activities - sports, music, etc, and do not go without. I don't deny having days where I feel like I want to have more money, to be able to give less thought to how I spend what I have. Then I see my kids, and it seems more like a gift than a sacrifice. Having grown up in a single parent home, I know there are situations where staying home is not a choice. Still, sometimes there is a choice. You have to be brave enough to give up some of the comforts you've grown to enjoy in order to truly live your values. I have yet to meet anyone who has, and regrets it.
ReplyDeleteI see your point here, but I have to shed light on some facts that you've ignored/ or overlooked that put many of us back in the work force. 1st and most important is health care. My husband works with hazardous materials, and while we would be able to live off his income alone, his job does not offer insurance benefits and many private insurances see pregnancy as a pre-existing condition. Most construction/labor positions do not offer any benefits at all, which leads me to number two. The 2nd is a retirement plan. Many jobs offer some sort of 401k or pension plan that helps if not covers us in our retirement years. We could never save enough from my husband's 401k/pension for both of us to retire and with both of us in our late 20's we're not counting on social security to still be around.
ReplyDeleteIf you have ways around these two obsticles, can't me in for the SAHM group!
You bring up some great points. I'm not all that well versed in the new health care law, but wonder if that would give you coverage. As for retirement, I agree that social security will probably be gone before I'm eligible, so the burden is on us to save. Have you looked into Roth IRAs? When I left my job, I rolled my 401K into one, and still try to max my contributions into it yearly. (We won't retire with millions, but we should be comfortable.)Also, remember that if you can find a way to make it work out staying home, you can go back to work when the kids are older or off to college. At that point, being used to living on one income, you'd probably be comfortable putting most of the 2nd income into savings/retirement. (That is the plan here.)Obviously every situation is different, and this is a huge decision. I hope that you can find a way. Good luck!
DeleteMy husband and I have two children,since we had the 2nd I'm home all of the time now and I love it. I use to work 7 days a week and it's nice to be a housewife. I like that I'm raising my children and someone else isn't. Things are tight right now though, but I hope my kids appreciate it when they're older. We have a little bit of savings started for their college, but nothing too big. Once they're in kindergarten I'll be able to work at least part time.
ReplyDeleteI love this post. This is something I hear all the time with the moms I know and work with. Sharing widely!!
ReplyDeleteThis is one big reason I work from home. I have 3 kids that would need childcare. I would be spending a lot more in gas and I know it would make me want to eat out more often. I am sure I would also want to hire someone to help clean the house. At the end of it all I make more from home.
ReplyDeleteI became a s@hm about 2 yrs ago. We knew that money would be VERY tight, but for us it was well worth it. I once asked my girls if they would rather have more "things" & more vacations AND have me working full time...they didn't even hesitate for a second. Their unanimous reply was this: "We want YOU, Mama!!!"
ReplyDeleteFor me, that was all I needed to "give up" that extra car, that 2 week vacation, getting my hair done every other month...do on and so forth.
I am the majority income in our family. This is a downside for me because I do not get to be a SAHM like I want! My husband recently became a SAHD though when his hours got cut at work (HVAC industry isn't very lucrative lately!). After the gas he spent to get to work and daycare costs, we were actually losing money!
ReplyDeleteWe are in the process of moving to South Florida, so perhaps in the hunt for new jobs he and I can switch roles???
Another important factor to consider is if your spouse loses his (or her) job. Going from 2 to 1 incomes is one thing, but from 1 to 0 is entirely another. Not suggesting that one can't be a SAHM, of course, but that it's also important to have an education and skill set so that if you are called upon to work outside the home, just on a temporary basis, you could do so to help.
ReplyDeleteI think there is a lot more to it than this... I liked the comment about healthcare and retirement. As parents we should consider the whole picture. Lets be honest if you have a good job with health care and retirement does it really pay you to stay at home? Maybe emotionally yes but financially probably not. Take into consideration there are other options besides spending 1,000 on daycare. In my area daycare is more like 300-900 depending on the time and care facility. Also many daycares allow cloth diapers to be used (yes you still have to wash them after work but still worth it), and you can always pump and send your own milk with your child's care giver. I get the point and I agree that spending time with your kids IS VERY important and worthwhile but for a lot of us working women staying at home full time costs just too much.
DeleteWhat a great post! We are expecting our first baby and I am praying that I will be able to stay home with him or her at least part time. Like many others, I wouldn't be paying for daycare as my Mom would watch our baby and I always brew my coffe at home, pack my lunch, etc. BUT my husband does not make enough to cover even 2/3 of our expenses (and I am taking about basics-rent, student loans, electricity, child support for his 2 other children, etc) and is not as gung-ho as I am about me being a SAHM. But having said all that, I do know that my future is in God's hands and that He will provide. Thanks also to the other commentors for some great tips. I fully believe that my most important job on this earth is to be a wife and mother and hope to be able to fulfill both roles to the best of my ability. Lots of love, prayers and good wishes to everyone here!
ReplyDeleteIt makes me sad to read this. While helpful for the decently-paid, unfortunately not all moms and dads are. I know this was just meant to be a generalization for the folks that it applied to, but it can be a touchy topic, especially for those who really don't have that option and still believe that staying home with your child is the right thing to do.
ReplyDeleteWould like to share my story, it’s a little odd: my husband and I married so early and had children so early - neither of us went to college. He made minimum wage "flipping burgers" and I stayed home because we both believed it was the right thing to do. We paid our rent in a tiny apartment, spent 20 dollars a week on groceries (and I can break down the list for any skeptics... believe me, these 15 years later, I still remember staring longingly at anything that wasn't on my pathetic little weekly list) and only paid 2 of the 3 bills every month - always rotating which one got unpaid so it would never get too high - electricity, phone, and gas (we considered a landline necessary with a child.) There was no such thing as going out to eat or buying silly things like clothes. No car payment - car was the same car bought when we were teenagers, no car insurance, no TV, no nothing. We did this for years without a cent from the government - no welfare, no food stamps, no nothing. I baby-sat when I could, but other than that, we were on our own.
Family members were unsupportive, saying that I was lazy and should work if we couldn't afford our to pay our bills. I stayed home with our son until he went to Kindergarten, then found out I was pregnant again. This time around, I picked up minimum wage part-time work at night to help cover the cost of formula.
That only lasted until he was off formula - then I stayed home with him until he was in Kindergarten.
Now I ask you, the community, is it not money that allows a parent to stay at home with a child? We were not a drain on society - living off of others' taxes; I played with my children, I taught them and stayed with both of them essentially from birth to school, but I wouldn't wish that poverty on anyone. I think its so so sad that the decision to stay home to raise children is so often solely based on money. With the shrinking middle class, our stay at home moms and dads are becoming limited to only the wealthy.
Obviously, my case is extreme: don't have children if you can't afford them. But for pete's sake! Families should NOT be so dependent on that second income and we, as a people, are!! You can cut back and cut back and cut back and for a lot of people, it is simply not enough!!
Sorry to rant, but the subject is one I feel strongly about. I truly feel that if a parent believes that staying home with a child is the best decision, they should darn well be able to without living in abject poverty. I know, because I was there.
To anyone interested in the happy ending: when both kids were in school, I entered the workforce full time, with "playing with toddlers" as pretty much the only thing on my resume. A friend's work had a job opening, and with no experience or education, they took a chance on me (network network network - you never know when an opportunity may come up) I worked there full time (no child care - the oldest was old enough to watch the younger for the 20 minutes after school until a parent came home) until we moved back to our hometown. That position gave me the experience to get hired at a large corporation, where I did such a good job that they hired my husband with no experience (remember - burger flipper - minimum wage) and he did well as well. We've both grown in our careers enough to have provided a very good life for our children - they are 17 and 12 and don't remember being poor at all. In fact, since we formed our "spending habits" as poor people, we really don't have an extravagant lifestyle, though we can afford to do so now. Our splurge is making sure our kids don’t want for anything.
And we have car insurance :)
Another thing to consider, particularly for first time parents, are tax breaks. I went back o work for a few months after my first was born. We had worked our budget every which way, cut everything there was to be cut and still came up short, so I went back part time to make up the difference we needed. Then we realized that January that we would be getting a huge tax refund as my husband had never changed his withholdings from when he was single. We adjusted his withholdings so that he got larger paychecks (enough for me to stay home!!) and we only get a small refund now.
ReplyDeleteI found a great company that focuses on green living and being able earn an income staying home with your kids. Take a look at http://gs.momsprovide.com.
ReplyDeleteHow does a single mother stay home? No income = no home.
ReplyDeleteI would love nothing more than to stay home with my child. I'm a single mom. I'm the only income. Would love any ideas!
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